We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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