I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
