I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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