I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
