I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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