Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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