He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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