You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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