I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
