Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
