I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I pour the whiskey from now on
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
