So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
