ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
