i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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