Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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