Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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