i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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