i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
