i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
