We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
