defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
