I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
