it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
