i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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