I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
