bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
