How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Come on in and take your pants off
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