please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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