You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
