we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
