He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
