he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
