Some one left their pants in the elevator.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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