I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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