I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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