she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
