You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
