so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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