my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
