How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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