I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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