I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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