I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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