Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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