I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm sobbing to NWA
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."