Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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