we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
