we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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