My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
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Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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