shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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