playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i think i have two assholes
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
