waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
