she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
