Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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