I'd wear matching sweaters with you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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