And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
