Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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