You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
