I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
When are your genitals available?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
