there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
