You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Don't make out with my wife yet
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
