His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
