is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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